Mommyhood: Month 1

It's hard to believe how quickly the past month has flown by. Now, some individual moments seemed interminable (pretty much any feeding that happened between 1 and 6 am, anytime he was crying and I couldn't get him to stop, etc), but by and large I find myself surprised to already be the mommy to a one month old.

Like every other new mom, I pretty much get the same questions from everybody (even once from my 6 year old niece, who no doubt was imitating the adults she's heard asking me these questions. She's a precocious little one.) So I'll just answer all of those questions, in no particular order.

1. How is Locke sleeping?

Well, we still don't have the hang of the difference between night and day, but it has improved from the beginning. His first couple of weeks, he slept the most in the morning and afternoon, and was wide awake from about midnight to 6 am. Now, most nights his bedtime is around 3 am, and he is mostly asleep (except for feeding times) until around noon. The longest stretch of sleep we've gotten so far was 5 hours, and that was only once. Most of the time we only sleep for 3 hours at a time at best.


2. How is he eating?


All the time, and not very efficiently. As of his one month doctor appointment, he had only gained 1 lb, 1 oz...so at that point (6 lbs, 9 oz) he was almost the size of a just-born-today newborn. At a month, that put him in the 3rd percentile. He was in the 3rd percentile at his 1 week appointment too, so at least he's consistent. The pediatrician surmises that his tininess is explained, in part, by his breastmilk colitis. As near as I can tell, breastmilk colitis is fancy physician speak for a cow's milk allergy...so if I eat cow's milk in pretty much any form, my poor little guy gets bloody poopy. (Yes, yes, that's TMI. After one month of motherhood, however, it seems that the most normal thing in the world to talk about is poopy. So deal ;) )

The milk prohibition sucks, and what's worse is that I believe I need to extend it to include soy (he was getting better after I cut out milk, but suffered a relapse when I had some soymilk ice cream). It does have one silver lining, though: maybe all these dietary restrictions will mean that I'll be able to lose the rest of my excess baby weight faster? Maybe that's just wishful thinking, but a girl can hope. :D Meanwhile, the pint of limited edition, possibly never to be made again ice cream of the most delicious flavor I've ever encountered in my life (Graeter's Blackberry White Chocolate Chip, if you're interested) sits in my freezer and taunts me. Curse you, breastmilk colitis!!!


3. How am I feeling?

Tired. Overwhelmed, also, but that feeling is gradually going away as I'm finding my mommy groove. I was convinced in the first few weeks that I was the worst mother ever. Some people seem to have a natural, nurturing mommy instinct, and I seem to lack that entirely. This is not to say that I don't have a great attachment for my son, because I do...but, for example, breastfeeding is not a bonding experience for me the way a lot of mothers say it is for them. For me, breastfeeding is work, and often a hassle (come and get me, Leche League police!) and if exclusively pumping and bottlefeeding was an option for me, I'd have switched already.

Mommyhood: week 1

Locke is a week and a day old now. Everything is different and new now, and in the best of ways. Everything we do now is a first for the baby, and I find myself scrambling for the camera quite a bit to try and capture everything I can. He had his first walk around the neighborhood in the stroller (the weather finally cut us a break and we've had a few 80 degree days!). He's had his first bath (mildly traumatic for all involved, since he screamed the whole time). He's gone for his first doctor's appointment (he was already an ounce heavier than his birthweight...I knew he'd be a champion eater!). He's had his first trip to Grandma's (and spent the whole time over there fussy. Luckily Grandma doesn't mind). He played his first Dungeons and Dragons mission with his daddy and Trevor (should I even admit this?). And on and on.

Matthew and I have slipped into a pretty good routine that has worked for us so far. Locke doesn't seem to want to sleep much at night (being pretty ravenously hungry from the hours of 1 to 7 am almost constantly), so I am up with him pretty much all night long. But after a late am feeding (sometime between 7 and 9 am), Matthew gets out of bed and takes the baby with him, and tries to keep Locke for me for a couple hours to let me get a solid block of sleep. He wakes me up when Locke needs to be fed again, and brings me breakfast. Later in the day I might take one or two short naps when Locke does. I figure we're each managing about 5 hours of sleep a day, which is probably pretty good for new parents. I'm tired, but not out of my mind exhausted.
It's hard to articulate just how I feel about my little guy. I love him, of course, but there's something more elemental and fiercer beneath that love that just doesn't translate properly into words. He is a miracle and a wonder. My favorite thing to do these days is just to sit and look at him, and touch his little hands or feet or face or (probably my favorite) rub the back of his head. I talk to him all the time, and tell him about all the places we want to take him, and the things we want to show him, and the type of parent I hope I'll be for him.

Ha. I'm a sentimental softie ;).

The cats are doing pretty well, considering. Sansa (my cat) is more or less completely normal. She doesn't approach the baby, and will get up and move if we bring the baby too close (within a foot, say), but otherwise she seems to be unaffected. Arya (Matthew's mean hissy territorial kitty) is doing far better than we expected. The first two days she hid most of the time, and when she was in the same room as the baby, she hissed and growled. But now she's calmed down quite a bit, even to the point where she will approach the adult carrying the baby sometimes if she wants to be petted. We let her back into the bedroom to sleep with us for the first time last night, and she made it all the way to 7:30 am before she approached the bassinet and started hissing at it. I ejected her from the bedroom at that point, but we'll give her another chance tomorrow. She spent most of the night in her usual sleeping spot, between our legs at the end of the bed, only about 3 feet from the baby in the bassinet, so I think she did well, all things considering. Matthew always predicted she'd be back to normal (well as normal as cats get anyway) by the time Locke was 2 weeks old, and I'm starting to think he may actually have been right.

Ok, now, because I can't resist, a few more pictures of my son before I sign off here.